Emergence
by NavyStrong42099
Summary: Being held by the Taliban is a horror that Kensi Blye had to face. And in the arms of her partner, she can't help but break. But coming home will prove to be harder. Kensi's thoughts during the rescue mission and the aftermath. Tag to 5x19: Spoils of War. Will continue if people are interested.
1. The Rescue

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, yes, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and writing something about 5x19: Spoils of War. How could I resist? Enjoy. Since this is technically a new story I must say, my penname, NavyStrong42099 is dedicated to my brother. This is from Kensi's perspective. **

**-C**

To Jack's credit, he tried.

He really did.

He tried to shake Kensi out of her stupor while trekking through the desert with the Taliban, but she wouldn't have it. The elite special agent retreated further into her shell every time.

Nobody was coming for them. Not anymore.

She had no doubt that her team back in Los Angeles would have received the good-bye video she sent. It took her a half an hour figuring out what to say. Sometimes, it was easier to leave without one last word, because one would always want to add something else, trying to give closure.

The video was brief. She had said what she meant. But she also knew that no way in hell would it be enough for them.

Kensi didn't know who had been sent to find her. Granger? Marines stationed at Camp Chapman? The team back in L.A.? Whoever it had been, they probably turned back by now. They could have found the cave where her and Jack were initially held. And then they would have discovered the pictures…

Any sane person would have turned back.

So Kensi was starting to lose hope real fast.

She didn't know how long they had been forced to march, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. Her entire body was numb; there wasn't much forcing one foot in front of another.

_What would Dad say? What would Deeks say? Come on Blye,_ some small voice called to her.

That with a combination of the man pointing a gun in front of her shook her to the present day. Something was going on. Angry Arabic jumped from man to man. A Taliban member got tired of waiting for Kensi to snap out of it, so he drove the butt of his gun to the side of her face.

Searing pain exploded in her cheek, causing her to collapse next to Jack behind a mound. It was as if a stab of adrenaline was rocking Kensi to her very core. Her ex-fiancé looked at her with concern, but she managed to haul herself to a sitting position on her own.

Jack tugged at his bonds beside her. Kensi was too preoccupied trying to discern what was going on. Gunfire exploded in the vicinity, and the brunette became all the more desperate move. It didn't last for long, but the bullets were frequent and determined to hit their mark.

Suddenly, a new noise broke over the gunfire. The screaming of the native tongue accompanied by the steady turning of helicopter rotors that seemed to be in time with her throbbing cheek.

She tried to get a look at what was going on, but the Taliban member standing in front of them prevented her from finding out. Kensi's Arabic was rudimentary, much like her Pashto. There was very little she could ascertain from the voice over the loudspeaker other than a name that didn't make any sense.

Maybe she got her hopes up for nothing.

The gunfire ceased, and there was much commotion among the members of the Taliban. Kensi shot Jack a confused glance, but he wasn't paying attention. If he understood what was going on, it wasn't like he could relay it to her due to the gags in their mouths.

More members of the Taliban approach her and Jack. It's unclear of what their intent is until Jack rises to his feet, clearly understanding the demands. Kensi tried to force herself up. But days of senseless beatings, no proper amount of food and water, and miles of trekking through the rough terrain had left it nearly impossible for her to muster the strength.

Whether she would have made it on her own or not, the men grew impatient. One of them grabbed her by the neck and tossed her forward. Kensi rolled in the dirt, breathless. She had landed on her cracked ribs, making it impossible to suck in some air.

Kensi lay coughing when another man delivered a hard kick to her stomach. Agony washed over her from previous bruising. Two more men hauled her to her feet and shoved her next to Jack.

The world was spinning, pain washing out most of everything except for well, everything.

Kensi wasn't sure what was going to happen to them. So she thought of the one thing that would get her through. His smile, his laugh. Everything.

Numbness radiated throughout her body so she didn't feel the light weight ropes thrown over her head. She was shoved into a part of the clearing, but wasn't looking ahead of her. Kensi blocked out as much real life imagery as she could to retain those of her imagination-those of Deeks.

When the brunette felt the familiar cold barrel of a gun jammed into her spine, she limped forward. Kensi was prepared for the worst. It felt so unreal, putting one foot in front of the other. Her head was hanging, but something inside made her look up. If it was one last spark of the Kensi Marie Blye defiance, she didn't know.

All she did know is that she didn't have to imagine Deeks in front of her anymore. Because there was the muscular man with the familiar blond locks. He stood behind a man Kensi didn't recognize, but she couldn't care less. She was too weak to acknowledge him in any way, but hope was soaring in her chest. He was only in front of her for a few seconds- and then he was walking past her. But it was enough.

It was a prisoner exchange. Somehow, they had found her. They hadn't given up on her after all.

In spite of her elation, Kensi couldn't smile or feel an overwhelming sense of happiness. She was numb. So numb. At first she thought it was because of her injuries. And now she was beginning to realize it was a part of her mental state as well.

Sam cautiously approached her and slid the gag down. He looked for any serious injuries, although there were several adorning her face.

"You okay?" He asked simply.

She couldn't put in the effort to lie. "No."

"They beat her up pretty bad," Jack warned them with concern.

"Get the wounded on the chopper, we have another one coming for us," Callen immediately stepped in. Kensi forced herself forward a few more yards, unable to hide the moans of protest escaping her parched and bloodied lips.

She followed Jack up, but wasn't even able to lift her foot high enough over the step. Kensi stumbled forward, only to have Jack catch her and quickly maneuver her into a seat. She was lying half on top of him.

It was an embrace that she knew.

But it felt so foreign.

The look in Deeks's eyes shocked her. She didn't want him to see her like this again. Kensi stayed where she was, having no desire to move.

The helicopter took off, and she knew that she wouldn't be seeing her teammates for the time being. She stayed in Jack's arms, pain vibrating throughout her body. The less she moved the better.

Kensi wasn't sure how much time had passed until they landed in Camp Chapman. Base medics immediately came running to get the more critically injured off of the vehicle. In the midst of all the commotion, Kensi slipped away from everybody and stumbled to her bunk. Before people could ask questions, she locked herself in the bathroom.

She stripped herself of the bloody garments and found herself staring in the mirror. Her entire left side was painted with purple and black bruising. There were other various and meager scrapes, but mostly bruising. It took a great deal of effort and energy to pull a clean black sweater over her head, followed by jeans.

Kensi had almost forgotten about her blood-ridden face. She frantically wet a towel under scalding water and vigorously wiped at the vermillion stains. The brunette rinsed the towel free of any blood it had absorbed and ran it over her exposed skin again. And again. And again until silent tears were streaming down her face.

Until she was sure that her features were clear of any blood, Kensi stumbled back to her bunk, hardly able to stand. She collapsed on the bunk out of breath and in extreme agony.

A knock sounded at the door, and the newcomer didn't wait for a response before barging in.

"Agent Blye, you should have come to see us."

She only offered the medic a shrug.

The doctor clearly had other people to tend to, for he gave her a once over and patched up a deep gash on the side of her head before moving on. Kensi sat in silence, staring emptily at the wall for a while.

The look on Deeks's face…

She shook herself. She should go check on Jack.

Kensi managed to pull herself to her feet once again and venture outside. It took some roaming, especially since she was still out of it, to locate the man she once called her fiancé. He was ushering the girl (although Kensi really didn't notice her in the chopper) into a tent for medical attention.

Jack turned, saw Kensi, and caught her eye. It was all she needed to slowly make her way over to him.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other. And suddenly, everything felt very clear to Kensi. Jack was not the marine she fell in love with over ten years ago. He couldn't have possibly changed more…and the same went for herself. The people remained, but time pushed on, and those very people were forced to deal with time's tempest.

"Are you alright?" he inquired.

The sound of a helicopter tore her away from Jack's face for a moment. She knew who was on board, and was fully aware of the fact that she was going to have to say something. But Kensi didn't know how much longer her walls and brigades would last.

She nodded absentmindedly, "I will be. When I get home."

"You are a strong woman. You always have been. Do not doubt yourself."

Kensi decided it would just be better to ignore his comment. "The CIA are still looking for you. Where will you go?"

"Wherever the transport will take me."

The two remained in silence for several long minutes. Jack finally pulled her in for a small embrace before stepping back. He ran his hands down her arms in a comforting silence.

"If there's any way, I'll be in touch," Jack assured her.

Kensi nodded, afraid that anything she might say would cause her to crumble. "Take off. Granger won't be able to hold off the CIA for long."

Jack called the young girl from the tent, and walked away without another word. Kensi's gaze followed past him and settled on a familiar blond surfer. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

Her will power was quickly failing.

"Hey." He greeted tentatively, unsure of what to say.

Kensi took one look at him, and felt a cascade of emotion bubbling over. She let out a quiet gasp, trying to get enough air.

"Um…Sabatino and Sajadi are out of surgery. Doc says they're going to be okay."

"Oh, thank God. That's good," she manages to answer.

"I'm really glad you're alive."

Kensi can only nod, emotions reaching a boiling point and finds herself buried in his arms and muscular chest. She could stay there for the rest of the earth's existence and not move.

She can faintly hear familiar voices from behind, and it's enough to draw her out of his embrace.

"They laid out a spread for us in mess," Sam reports jovially. "Wheels up in two hours. And Granger got us a direct flight into Edwards."

Kensi's voice cracks, "thank you guys for what you did."

Sam and Callen somehow knew that they had best be going. So Kensi couldn't help but feel relieved when the team leader dismissed with, "See you at mess."

"See you at the mess," Deeks echoes. He turns his attention back to Kensi.

And when she feels the ocean eyes on her expectantly, all resolve cracks. Her voice breaks completely as she manages to choke out, "it was really bad."

Deeks reels her back into his strong arms just as the tears start freely escaping her eyes. "Shh. No, it's okay. Come here. Come here."

Kensi finds herself weeping into his shoulder, unable to stop the trembling.

"It's okay. I got you."

He holds her head closer, and she desperately hangs on to him as if the Taliban would come and rip him away.

"We're going home…" his voice breaks a little as he repeats, "…we're going home."

And maybe, the tiniest bit of hope fluttered in Kensi's chest.

**End Note:**

**I can continue this if people are interested in a short fic of the aftermath, only about five to ten chapters long. Let me know in the reviews!**

"


	2. The Reunion

**Author's Note:**

**So, I gotta be honest. I was not expecting to turn this into a multi-chapter fic (however short). But the 20+ reviews and the over FORTY follows convinced me otherwise…**

**-C**

Kensi had felt lost before.

She thought she knew the feeling of twisting in circles in the middle of a crossroads, trying to choose the right one.

But this was different. This was standing in an open void with a spinning compass and the edges of the map leading nowhere. Isolation. Despair. No company but whatever dark thoughts had plagued the mind.

It was as if she were back marching along the desert with the Taliban: basic motor functions moving her battered body forward. That is, until Kensi broke in front of Deeks.

He kept on murmuring words of comfort, his gentle arms wrapped securely around her. "We're going home, Kens. It's over now. It's alright, Kens. Shh…"

For the first time in God-knows-when, Kensi started to feel some sort of direction. She knew where she wanted to go. The problem was getting there.

"Deeks," She sobbed, burying her head into the meat of his shoulder.

"I'm right here. You're not going anywhere, and I'm not going anywhere."

Kensi allowed herself to remain in his arms, crying until she couldn't anymore. Deeks soothingly ran a hand over her back and caressed her head. Occasionally he planted a small kiss to the top of her head though she could barely feel it. The numbness was coming back, but then the pain began radiating throughout her body once again.

Despite the fact that it was hurting her, Kensi didn't want to move.

Deeks continued to run his fingers gently over her side until he strayed too close to a broken rib.

Kensi cried out, the air shooting out of her lungs. She took a couple of panicked steps backward and collapsed into the picnic table's bench.

"Kens- I'm sorry, I didn't mean- oh God Kensi."

He was immediately at her side, trying to see what was wrong.

She shook her head, pushing his apologies away. "I just have to sit down."

Kensi knew Deeks was watching her worriedly as she tried to catch her breath. In order to contain the spreading agony, she held a hand at her side wordlessly. The brunette finally stopped trembling and was able to breath normally, well, what passed for normal at the moment, again.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Deeks desperately clutched her free hand.

"I know," Kensi replied through gritted teeth. "It's not your fault."

"Did you see a base medic?"

She nodded shortly. Deeks seemed skeptical, but he didn't vocalize his doubts.

"Okay," he accepted her answer. "Listen, if you need _anything_, you know I'm always here."

Kensi shut her eyes as if trying to blot out the sun, when in fact she was trying to shut out the swarm of memories that bombarded her senses. Not just her experience over the past few days, but finding Deeks in the autobody shop, they're last night together, everything.

"Please don't make me talk about it now," she murmured, wishing the images to go away.

"I would never make you do anything," he promised.

Kensi sat there for a few minutes more with her eyes shut tight against the rest of the world. If it weren't for the lingering throbbing in her chest or the way Deeks's eyes bored into her, she could have fallen asleep. Knowing that the plane would take off in just over an hour, she willed herself to finally open her eyes.

"Let's go meet the guys at the mess. I'm starving."

A hint of a smile crept into her partner's face. "That's my girl."

Deeks walked a few inches behind Kensi the whole way back to the barracks, ensuring that she wouldn't fall. She was still unsteady on her feet, and looked like she was barely keeping her head raised.

"You good?"

"Fine."

Kensi kept one hand wrapped around her mid-section as she made her way up the few short steps and into the trailer that had been home for the past few months. Immediately the sound of Sam and Callen bickering washed over her ears. It was a good sound to be hearing, just not in the right place.

"I'm telling you, it was Michelle's idea. Don't try to hide it big guy."

"Okay, so it may have been her idea, but I'm the one that acted on it, didn't I? I think I deserve some credit here is all."

Callen laughed heartedly. "My love life deserves no credit to you."

"Are you still talking about Callen's new lady friend?" Deeks quipped, rolling his eyes. This seemed to be a new favorite topic of discussion between the two partners.

"Come on, Deeks. I know you agree with me," Sam enticed.

"Tempting, but nope. Sorry. Staying out of this."

Kensi was a bit surprised at the fact that Callen was seeing somebody, but she didn't make any comment. This was just another reminder of the life she was ripped away from for the past few months. Instead her attention was turned towards the small table stocked with food. Burgers, a turkey roast, (although she was pretty sure it was bearded vulture), and a hefty bowl of spaghetti to start.

Somehow, it just made her stomach more uneasy.

"Well, on that note, let's eat. Wheels up in forty five minutes," Callen reminded them all.

Kensi offered a small smile, but she didn't believe it herself. It wouldn't feel real to her until she was on American soil itself.

"Great because I am _starving_," Deeks immediately began piling on servings of everything, as did Callen and Sam.

She felt the hunger pangs. Yet she had no interest in eating any food. Knowing that she would be under extreme scrutiny from all the guys, Kensi plucked some vulture (because Sabatino was right- it did taste like chicken) and picked at it.

Nobody talked much throughout the meal. It was a combination of the constant food in eager mouths and the lingering realism of what they had all just been through. And with that hanging over their heads, what was there to say, really?

Before long, Granger popped his head in from one of the bunk rooms. "Your bags are loaded and the helicopter is ready to leave. Let's move."

Silently, the four team members rose from the table, left their dishes in the sink, and made their way out to where the helicopter was just starting to fire up. The rotors progressively spun faster, just like Kensi's heart.

They were going home.

Deeks helped her up into the helicopter as the noise grew. Her hair was whipped around violently, and it didn't take another minute before they were lifting up into the sky.

She saw a familiar figure standing below. He gave her a two fingered salute and turned back to caring for the girl.

Somewhere inside, Kensi knew it was the last she would see of Jack Simon.

"


	3. The Reminiscence

**Author's Note:**

**I'm so sorry this took a long time. I was a little lacking in the inspiration department and have been incredibly busy this marking period with school. Anyways, hope the wait was worth it! Please let me know what you think!**

**-C**

Kensi tried lifting her duffle bag full of stuff, but quickly dropped it with a sharp intake of breath. Her ribs vehemently protested any movement, so it was a miracle she was standing in the first place. Embarrassed, the brunette reached down to grab it. Deeks beat her to it. Without a word, he had her bag in his hands and continued towards the open door of the plane. Thankful for the help, Kensi limped after him in silence.

At least Sam and Callen didn't see her display of weakness. They were already in the plane and from what Kensi heard, probably asleep. After all, the partners had been up for more than forty eight hours straight.

Climbing up the ramp into the back of the plane was more of a feat than it should have been. Completely drained of all energy, Kensi collapsed into the closest seat. Deeks finished stowing their gear and quickly joined her.

"Wheels up in two minutes," the pilot told them in passing.

Deeks nodded. His eyes flicked around the interior of the plane as if he couldn't actually believe they were headed home. It was certainly the main feeling flooding through Kensi at the moment. His gaze settled on Sam and Callen across the way, fast asleep. The detective laughed and snapped a picture, as in his sleep, Sam's head had found his way on Callen's shoulder.

"Now that's adorable."

Kensi found herself chuckling lightly for a moment before stopping shortly. With a gasp, her hand found its way to her broken rib once again.

"No, don't make me laugh," she pleaded.

He raised his eyebrows. "I've heard that before."

Kensi nodded, feeling a phantom pain in her right side when the sniper's bullet came into contact with the bullet proof vest. She thought that she was in a great deal of discomfort then, but it seemed trivial compared to now.

"I guess you have."

"That was a long day," Deeks reminisced, allowing his head to fall back against the netting behind their seat. "And that's a gross understatement."

"A lot of things can change in a day."

"They can."

"I didn't think that we were gonna get out of that one," Kensi added absent mindedly.

Deeks turned a curious eye towards Kensi. "We're not talking about the case two years ago anymore."

If Kensi heard him, she didn't give any indication. She was fiddling with her hands and staring off into space. Deeks remained quiet however hard it was to do. He knew that she needed her own space and time to heal, even though he would be with her every step of the way.

The plane lurched forward, shaking Kensi from her stupor long enough to pull the straps over her shoulders and click them in. People who thought riding coach on a commercial jet should really try riding in a cargo plane sometime. Very uncomfortable.

Kensi yawned, but she knew there was no hope of sleeping soundly. She had been plagued by nightmares before. Reluctantly, she shut her eyes and tried to drown out the sounds of the jet plane.

Eventually the body's need for rejuvenation won out over the resolve in her mind.

Deeks was exhausted, but he forced himself awake. Kensi fell asleep about an hour ago. Even though they were flying at six hundred miles per hour home, he wanted to fully ensure that she was safe. Just as his eyes were fluttering shut, a sharp movement beside him jolted his brain into full activity.

Kensi was tossing in her sleep, practically ripping out the safety harness from the seat. Deeks quickly took her hands in his and began tugging her from the nightmare.

"Kens. Come on, I know you can hear me. Please wake up."

She muttered something unintelligibly but finally managed to open her eyes. Kensi fought against Deeks's hold for another minute or two before her rationale began taking over. She was on the plane, sitting next to her partner. They were going home.

"Shh, Kens, it's okay."

Kensi buried her face into his shoulder, her body shuddering. The nightmare had taken her back to that cave- back to her darkest hour.

"Just talk to me," Kensi pleaded.

Deeks clasped both of her hands in his and thought for a moment. Then he proceeded to do what he did best. Rambling.

"I was buying groceries one day and the guy behind me was wearing a Blood and Guts Warriors t-shirt. Can you believe that? The gym reopened even after we arrested all the owners there. That was four years ago. Crazy, right? And I stopped by the LAPD. Remember that case officer you met on the Darva investigation? Well, he got promoted. Jerk."

Kensi sniffled a laugh.

"Monty got sick again too. I think he missed his mom a lot. Did I tell you that I visited your mom? I thought somebody should tell her that you were away. Don't worry, we didn't look at too many embarrassing pictures of you as a kid. You made a very cute ninja turtle when you were seven, by the way.

"Oh, and I found a purple pair of boxers in my drawer from the undercover marriage op. I think I deserved to be reimbursed for all the clothes you ruined. You really suck at doing the laundry, Kens. In speaking of which I restocked your Twinkie supply and Rocky Road ice-cream. I figured you'd need it when you got back. Although, Sam and Callen don't approve of me encouraging your terrible eating habits.

"You know we also worked this case around Christmas where the girl we were protecting was apparently all into slow food and stuff. It means growing your own ingredients and all that. Considering you can't keep a cactus alive, I'm guessing that's out of the dieting options. Not that you need to go on a diet of course.

Kensi smiled into his shirt, losing herself to the sound of his voice.

"I had to babysit Sam's kids again while you were gone. They kept on asking me where you were. Rose lost a tooth and she won the spelling bee. You should have seen her face when she showed me the certificate. Michelle set Callen up with somebody named Joelle. She's a teacher, I think. Sam insists that he started it but we all know that it's Michelle's doing. And yes, they've been together for longer than a few days. I have to say, it somewhat surprises me. Nell's been in the field recently. She's feisty, I'll give her that. But she's not you. And she doesn't like Yummy Yummy Heart Attack- which almost closed _again. _I think I gained a couple pounds just to try and keep that place open."

Deeks kept on talking, his voice filling the compartment and growing hoarse with each passing moment. It didn't bother him though. Kensi was fast asleep against his shoulder- and that was worth anything in the world.

**OK- so a note directed at the people who saw the episode "Three Hearts":**

**DON'T READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT**

**I'm a little confused as to what just happened. At first it seemed like Deeks pretty much called it off, but then when Kensi opened the box she was smiling. And Deeks was smiling too when he mentioned the raccoon thing. So…what? Are they together are they not? Was that just a show because they knew Granger or Hetty might be watching. Can somebody who understood that mind helping to clarify?**


	4. The Return

**Author's Note:**

**I'm so sorry that this took three weeks to do. With Daniela Ruah coming back on the show and my other fan fics, I kinda got distracted. The others I'm working on right now are Of Badges and Sunshine, When Things Fall Apart, and And Then There's the Deadly Side of the Family if you want to check them out. THANK YOU FOR ONE HUNDRD FOLLOWERS!**

-C

"Kens."

_They had taken Jack and now she was left completely alone to figure out how to escape. She picked at the cuff around her ankle with the bucket handle, holding back tears of frustration. After what felt like hours and hours of no success, Kensi angrily pounded the ground. This was it. She was going to die here._

"Kensi."

_She heard the unmistakable sounds of Arabic being exchanged in confident voices. Heart racing, Kensi shoved the handle up her sleeve as not to be caught. A group of six men prowled into the room, surrounding her._

"Kensi!"

The brunette was ripped away from the nightmare by the sturdy voice of Deeks. She blinked her eyes against the blinding lights of the plane and bolted straight up. Close to crying, Kensi buried her face in his shoulder. She was perfectly aware of the fact that Sam and Callen were staring at them, but it didn't matter.

"We landed, Kens. We're home."

He could have been speaking in an alien language, the words were so lost on her. And then the cargo bay doors opened to show something she hadn't seen in a very long time. A sunrise poking through the buildings of Los Angeles.

Kensi leaned forward, trying to catch a better glimpse of it. While she was off of Deeks's shoulder, he unbuckled his restraints and retrieved both of their bags from the compartment above. Sam and Callen were doing the same, waiting for their teammates.

Deeks shouldered the two bags and held out a hand for Kensi to take. The brunette was aware of the gesture, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sun rise. And most of all she felt warm from its rays.

Coming out of her trance, Kensi unclipped her belt and took Deeks's proffered hand in hers. He hoisted her up, taking some of the pressure off of her injuries. She fell against him, trying to retain her balance again. Together, the four of them bid the pilot farewell and picked their way down the bay doors.

She was a little disappointed to find that nobody was waiting for them. There was no sign of anybody from the Office of Special Projects. Kensi rounded the corner of the plane and was pleasantly surprised to find Hetty, Nell, and Eric all waiting for their arrival.

"Kensi," Nell's voice cracked and jogged to meet her friend. She embraced her tightly, causing the special agent to wince with pain. The intelligence analyst quickly withdrew. "You're hurt."

The brunette gave her a weak smile. "Not too badly."

Eric joined Nell in lightly giving Kensi a 'welcome-back' hug before retreating as well. That just left Hetty. Kensi left Deeks's side and approached the operations manager. The careful façade the woman spent years putting up was almost completely gone. There were several emotions lying in her beady eyes, but the most prominent was pity.

And that was the one emotion Kensi wished Hetty had the decency to hide.

"A welcome back and a congratulations are in order, Ms. Blye."

Kensi didn't reply, but offered her a small nod.

"I don't expect you back at work until your injuries are completely healed," she reminded her.

"Okay," Kensi choked out, mixed emotions bubbling to the surface. Anger, understanding, confusion. It was too much for her to handle right now. The overwhelming senses put pressure on her chest, causing red-hot pain to shoot through her torso.

"Mr. Deeks?" Hetty called the detective over without taking her searching eyes off of Kensi. "Please take Ms. Blye home."

Deeks shot Hetty a look of utter loathing, as if he couldn't believe his boss would think that he would do otherwise. He took the keys out of his pocket and jingled them in front of her for emphasis.

The four, after properly saying hello and good-bye, made their way over to the Challenger and SRX. She didn't say anything to Sam or Callen as she climbed into the front seat of the car. She heard the three talking about something that didn't make sense to her as Deeks opened up the trunk. When he shut it, their voices became muffled and Kensi couldn't make out what they were saying.

She sank further into the seat, still weary, only to finally realize that she was in her car, and not Deeks's.

When the blond finally took his place in the driver's seat, Kensi raised the questioned.

"Why are you driving my car?"

Deeks looked somewhat nervous as he started the engine. "I've been using it since you left. It's easier to maneuver than my truck."

"Mmm-hmm," she replied skeptically.

He smiled at her and then drove off, heading into the heart of Los Angeles. Kensi didn't ask where they were going, but it certainly wasn't in the direction of her house. They remained mostly silent, with soft rock playing in the background. How ironic was it that, when overseas, Kensi thought of a million things to talk to Deeks about; now when they were together, she couldn't get her lips to move.

"Where are we going?" She finally asked.

"To pick up breakfast. And then I thought we could swing by my place to get Monty," Deeks replied. He shot Kensi a smile across the center console. "He missed his mommy a lot."

Kensi smiled, for laughing would only make her ribs hurt more. Deeks reached across and squeezed her hand reassuringly. Before Kensi could say anything, they pulled into the drive-through of a Dunkin Donuts. Without asking what she wanted, Deeks ordered her usual- Boston Crème donut and a large latte.

Once getting their breakfast, Deeks turned out of the lot and made the quick trip to his apartment just outside the center of the city. It took them a short amount of time for Deeks to get there, run inside, grab Monty, and return outside. The dog already began excitedly pulling at the leash. The detective opened up the rear door for him, and Monty was running around the backseat as if on coffee. He barked excitedly at Kensi constantly.

"Hey there," she cooed, and scratched him behind the ears affectionately.

Deeks leaned on the car door and poked his head through the open window on Kensi's side.

"You ready to go home, princess?"

Kensi stared into his eyes, searching for her source of strength. Silently, she nodded, wondering if she was lying or not.


	5. The Reign

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you everybody for your continuing support! Hope you enjoy this next chapter- I actually got the idea from one of your reviews.**

**-C**

It was just a building. A nest. Nothing special about it.

One story, brick, cozy enough for a single person.

So when Kensi set eyes on the apartment she had lived in for years, she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't home anymore. There was no alleviation of the weight in her heart or chest, like there would be months ago from returning from a difficult mission.

"You okay?" Deeks asked from beside her.

Kensi kept her eyes trained on the door of the apartment and shrugged. Before her partner could say anything, she forced herself out of the car. She pretended not to hear Deeks's sigh as he too opened up the door to fetch Monty.

She waited for him to walk around the vehicle with his dog before continuing up the pathway. The stairs proved to be an obstacle, taking about a minute for Kensi just to reach the top of those three little steps. Taking a deep breath, the brunette curled her fingers around the handle. After another minute, she went to turn it, finding it was locked.

"I don't have a-" she broke off, seeing that Deeks was already unlocking it. She then finished hollowly, "key."

Deeks proffered her a small smile and pushed open the door for her, allowing Kensi to take the first few steps into her house.

Kensi stared at him for a second, finding the courage to move forward. At last, she walked through the door, finding herself surprised at what she saw.

It had been five months since being in her living room, but this certainly not the way she left it. The floor was vaccummed, the couch cushions straightened. Her stack of newspapers in the corner she had never recycled were gone, hell, there was even a plant thriving on her coffee table.

It was a fern.

"I didn't move too much of your stuff around," Deeks reassured. "Just tidied up a bit."

He was surprised to find that she suddenly snaked her arms around her torso. "Thank you," she murmured into his shirt.

Instead of replying, Deeks just ran his fingers through her hair, however matted.

"Why don't you go take a shower, and I'll make us something?"

Kensi nodded against his chest and retracted, only to disappear into her bedroom. She wandered to her dresser, pulling out leggings and a sweatshirt. She snatched a towel up and proceeded into the bathroom.

Deeks stood outside her bedroom door, not moving until he heard the water turn on. With a sigh of relief, the blond turned to move towards the kitchen, only to find a certain mutt staring at him with concerned eyes.

"I know, Monty. I know."

* * *

"Offer is still up for breakfast at my place, G," Sam reminded him as they pulled up at his house.

Callen paused with his fingers on the door handle. "Thanks, but I have to figure some stuff out."

He pushed open the door, ready to get out.

"With Kensi and Deeks or Hetty?"

Sighing, the team leader shut the car door and looked over at his partner. "I'm concerned about Kensi's emotional state, the effect that'll have on Deeks, and the two of them as a whole. You and I both know that they've always had a special connection. It was only a matter of time before things turned out like this."

"They'll figure it out," Sam reassured. "I have faith in their capabilities as agents and as people."

"I think you're reading this too much like your own past, Sam. Not everybody has a happy ending like you and Michelle," he insisted. "Look at every other agent, and you'll get a much different story."

"That may be true," the ex-Navy SEAL continued. "but none of them had quite the heart as these two do."

"It's not a matter of them figuring it out. I know they will. We're just gonna have to see where it leaves us and them."

If you don't trust them, then trust Hetty. She will make the decisions that have to be made."

"See, I don't know Sam. I think my trust in her is decreasing by the second. I can't help but think that her reign is quickly coming to an end with how many people she's betraying these days."

* * *

Deeks was just piling the giant chocolate chip pancakes onto the plates when he heard a large crash explode from the bathroom. He dropped everything and rushed through her bedroom and towards the door separating them. Trying to save her privacy, Deeks knocked urgently on the wood.

"Kens, you okay!?"

A few anxious seconds passed before he heard her reply, "I just tripped. I'm fine."

Relieved, Deeks plopped himself on the edge of her bed and waited for her to emerge. He distracted himself by looking at the decorations on her wall when something caught his eye. The detective scooted closer to the head board and scooped a picture frame off of her bedside table.

"Didn't see this before," he whispered, running a finger over the glass.

It was taken a year and a half ago during the case investigating Sonny Amador. He and Kensi had spent the last free hours of the day surfing together which was captured in this photograph taken by Sam or Callen. They were just coming out of the water, laughing at each other about some joke long forgotten.

"That's one of my favorite pictures," a gentle voice broke from behind him.

Deeks jumped, startled. He quickly returned the photograph to its original resting place and said, "I made pancakes."

He saw Kensi shake her head and chuckle. "Nice recovery."

Deeks began to grin, but it broke when she started coughing wildly. He rushed to her side, putting a hand on her back. After half of minute of coughing up a lung, Kensi nodded, signaling that she was alright.

"You good?"

"Better now," Kensi assured. She pushed her wet hair to once side, brushing Deeks's jaw as she did so.

He smiled at the small contact and prompted, "Come on. Breakfast is waiting."

About twenty minutes later Deeks was already cleaning up the plates scraped clean while Kensi finished her orange juice at the table. They had a good conversation, touching on everything except anything relating to Afghanistan. It was only broken by boughts of coughing

"So I was thinking, your mom might want to see you know that you're home."

"My mom?" Kensi asked.

"Yeah. She was worried about you," Deeks elaborated.

"My mother?" Kensi repeated.

The detective whipped around, realizing something was wrong.

"My mom can't see me like this!" Kensi sprung up from the table. "How could you even suggest something like that? I thought you were on my side!" she screamed, tears rushing to her eyes.

"Kensi," Deeks spoke calmly, at her side in a second.

"Get away from me!" She backed away up against the wall, falling into another round of coughing. "I can't breathe!"

The blond scrutinized her lips, noticing that they had a blue tint to them. He immediately pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1.

Before he could speak to the operator, Kensi's eyes rolled to the back of her head. Deeks dropped the phone just in time for her to fall against his chest.

"She's not breathing!" He screamed at the phone, trying to rock his partner back to consciousness.


	6. The Rush

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you all for the continued support! I said at the beginning of this that it would only be about ten chapters, and that is still the direction that we're heading in. Hope you enjoy this. **

**-C**

Deeks lay Kensi out on the kitchen out on the floor ad began pumping air back into her lungs.

"Come on Kens! Don't do this!" He exclaimed, panic bringing tears to his eyes.

The detective quickly ran through the list of symptoms present before she collapsed. Blue lips, anxiety…it could have been a punctured lung. He had seen it often enough in gun shot wounds to the chest.

Removing himself from Kensi's side, Deeks scrambled for the phone abandoned on the kitchen floor.

"Sir? Sir?" The operator repeated.

"I need an ambulance at 221 Orchard Road immediately! I think it's a punctured lung!" He rapidly spoke, putting an ear directly above Kensi's slightly parted lips. There was a shallow breath alright, but it came out wheezy and uneven.

The operator told him that the estimated arrival time was two minutes, as ambulances had already been dispatched at the time of the call. Deeks wasn't listening. He held Kensi in his arms, afraid that performing CPR would only make the situation worse.

"Please, Kensi. I don't know what I would do without you, just hold on a little bit longer!" He screamed hoarsely, voice bouncing off the nonresponsive walls. "Fight it, Princess. You're stronger!"

Deeks wasn't aware of the passing time before the paramedics practically broke down the door and wheeled in a stretcher behind them. He was reluctant to let go, but let her slip out of his embrace as they secured her onto the stretcher. The paramedics were in and out of the house in a total of ninety seconds.

He trailed closely behind, keeping in step so he never had to take his eyes off of Kensi. Deeks shoved his way into the ambulance with them, silently asserting his right to be there.

"Is there anything we need to know?" The younger paramedic questioned, hooking her up to a heart monitor.

"She was a mission in Afghanistan and was injured, we didn't know how badly," Deeks rambled. To hell with classification if it depended on Kensi's health. "But I think she had a broken rib."

The ride to the hospital was a quick one. And as predicted, the doctors immediately shoved Deeks aside in order to take Kensi to an operating room. Left alone and begging them to let him inside, he found himself pacing up and down the hall. He pulled out his cell phone and instinctively dialed Hetty's number.

His thumb hesitated over the call button, ready to press it.

_This is her fault_, a sneering voice echoed somewhere in the back of Deeks's head. He quickly hit the cancel button and instead called Callen.

It rang endlessly, the team leader was obviously preoccupied with something if he wasn't answering the phone. In one last attempt, Deeks quickly dialed the number for Sam.

"Deeks?" Sam asked, disgruntled. "We've only been back a few hours is something wrong?"

"Sam I'm at the hospital with Kensi. She collapsed and was barely breathing- I think she had a punctured lung." Deeks somehow managed to sound calm, even to his own ears.

"Which one?"

"Pacific Beach Medical."

"I'm on my way. Take care of her, Deeks."

Sighing, the blond hung up and collapsed in a chair. He noticed that some people were staring at him. Deeks couldn't keep from tapping his foot incessantly and twirling his thumbs. Suddenly, a plastic cup full of murky water that passed for coffee was shoved underneath his nose.

"Looked like you could use it," a voice said.

Deeks raised his eyes to see Sam standing in front of him, still offering the drink. With a nod of thanks, he pressed the rim to his lips and took a sip.

"You got here fast," he remarked.

"I was already in the car," Sam replied, also taking a seat next to the detective. "What happened?"

"She seemed fine for a little bit. I thought I heard her fall while she came out of the shower, but you know Kensi. She shrugged it off. Then she begins yelling at me and collapsed," he said miserably.

"The fall probably knocked a broken rib into her lung. Anxiety, labored breathing, blue lips…they're all signs of a punctured lung."

"Hmm," he answered, staring at the door to the emergency wing. "I called Callen and he didn't pick up."

"He's with Hetty. I'm assuming you didn't bother reaching her."

"Nope," Deeks popped the 'p'

"Hetty is Kensi's next of kin, Deeks. She's going to show up sometime."

"Actually, no, she isn't. I am."

Sam didn't answer right away, as he seemed to be mulling the situation over. Eventually he just crumpled up the foam cup, threw it into the trash can, and sighed. "Don't let her shut you out, Deeks."

He scoffed and stared into the dregs of his drink. "Easier said than done."

"Maybe for others, but not for you," Sam argued. "Honestly we didn't understand why Hetty wanted you to come and work for us so badly. A cop in this federal agency, especially OSP, we knew that if Hetty felt you weren't needed you wouldn't have shown up. But you did more than just add a crucial component of our team. You've been breaking Kensi's walls down since day one. She wasn't the same person five, six years ago."

Deeks looked away, trying to hide the blush that was creeping into his cheeks. "But I got her into this mess. If I had acted better on the mission with Thappa, then she wouldn't have gotten reassigned."

Sam shot him a quizzical look. "I'm assuming you didn't hear then?"

The detective's gaze snapped back towards the older team member. "Hear what?"

"Hetty. She knew that Jack was being hunted by the CIA, they were even friends. Hetty sent Kensi as the sniper under the assumption that she wouldn't take the shot."

Deeks clenched his jaw so tightly, a ghost of pain crept up the bone from the year before. He flexed and unflexed his fists and growled, "So she used Kensi. She made us think that we had done something wrong and-" He broke off suddenly, throwing his coffee cup across the room with some disapproving glares from the nurses.

"She could have been killed!" Deeks exclaimed. "Hell, she almost was!"

"Deeks," Sam gently put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in the seat.

He rubbed his eyes with his hand, trying to make the throbbing pain in his head go away.

"I'm as angry as you are, but right now Kensi needs _you_. We have no idea what happened out to her; you and I both know that she's going to need some help along the way."

Deeks took a deep breath, knowing that Sam was right. He put his anger aside and began to think rationally about the direr situation- that Kensi was in the emergency wing with a possible punctured lung.

"Okay," he eventually said. "I should call her mom. Can you get in touch with Eric and Nell? They would want to know what's going on."

Sam nodded and immediately pulled out his phone. Not two seconds went by when another doctor emerged from the emergency wing, obviously looking for somebody. Deeks immediately perked up, and made eye contact with him.

"Are you the family of Kensi Blye?" He questioned from across the way.

"I'm her next of kin," Deeks immediately answered.

The doctor sighed and waved them on, a grim look on his face. "You better come with me."


End file.
